Healing from relational trauma is not a straight line—it’s a journey with ups, downs, pauses, and breakthroughs. To better support survivors, TS-12 Anon now includes a description of the framework that recognizes the three stages of healing in a trauma model. This section comes straight from the book, and we want participants who already purchased earlier printings to have access to it as well. By recognizing where they are in their process, survivors can engage with the steps in ways that feel safe and supportive for their current needs. Whether someone is seeking stability, grieving losses, or beginning to grow into new strength and hope, this model affirms that every stage of healing is valid and worthy of compassion.
From the Introduction of TS-12 Anon, 3rd printing (Affiliate link):
“Recognizing Stages In a Trauma Model
TS-12 Anon meets participants where they are on their healing journey by incorporating a trauma model. This allows participants to recognize where they best relate on their healing path and choose to participate in healing that can be catered to their needs.
Healing is not linear. A person may move forward, circle back, or shift between stages at different points in the journey. The goal is not to “graduate” from one stage to the next, but to recognize the current stage so the steps can be worked in ways that fit present needs.
Stage 1: Safety & Stabilization
In this stage, the focus is on creating safety in body, mind, and environment. An individual may feel overwhelmed by triggers or daily chaos and need grounding, routines, and supportive boundaries. Healing work here emphasizes calming the nervous system, establishing stability, and building a secure foundation before processing deeper pain. An individual may be in this stage if:
-They feel overwhelmed by triggers, flashbacks or even everyday life.
-Daily life feels chaotic, unpredictable, or unsafe.
-They struggle with sleep, appetite, or staying grounded in the present.
-Thoughts repeat on a loop.
Stage 2: Grief & Mourning
In this stage, the focus shifts to acknowledging and honoring the losses caused by trauma. An individual may experience waves of sadness, anger, or confusion as they begin to process what has been lost—such as trust, relationships, time, finances or parts of self. Healing work here emphasizes allowing emotions to surface, naming losses, and creating space for grief mourning with self compassion. An individual may be in this stage if:
-They are beginning to feel safe enough to notice the pain underneath the chaos.
-They are realizing the depth of what was lost and are able to move into naming the losses.
-They can practice allowing space for grief with self-compassion.
-They have developed or are developing a supportive and nonjudgemental community.
-They are able to recognize emotional dysregulation, and have tools to regulate, which can be supported by trained professional and/or a supportive community.
Stage 3: Integration & Growth
In this stage, the focus is on weaving past experiences into one’s life story without being defined by them. An individual may begin to feel a stronger sense of identity, healthier relationships, and the possibility of a hopeful future. Healing work here emphasizes reclaiming joy, developing resilience, and embracing personal growth while carrying forward the wisdom gained from the journey. An individual may be in this stage if:
-They feel stronger in their sense of self, their worth and are clearer about their values.
-They can imagine or begin to build a future with hope and possibility.
-They are better able to set boundaries in healthy ways.
-They have a clear ability to self-regulate.
-They have experienced the grieving process, which allows participants to more clearly see truth and act accordingly.”
We wish all survivors well on their journeys.