Getting Vulnerable with the R.E.S.T. Process
One of the hardest parts of healing from relational trauma is realizing how much is outside of our control. I know for me, this has been both humbling and painful. There are times when I’ve wanted so badly to fix things, protect my children from hurt, or make someone else see the truth—and yet, I’ve had to face the reality that those things aren’t mine to carry.
That’s why Step 3 of the TS-12 Anon program has been so meaningful to me. It introduces something I use in my own life all the time: the R.E.S.T. process. R.E.S.T. isn’t just a tool—it’s become a way I anchor myself when everything feels too heavy.
What R.E.S.T. Looks Like for Me
R – Release
I’ve had to learn to place the things I can’t control into God’s hands. Sometimes that’s a whispered prayer through tears, other times it’s my own Walk and Talk With God. The more that I practice this, the easier it is to feel seen.
E – Express
Healing requires connection. For me, that has meant finding a safe person I can share my burden with, someone who won’t judge or try to fix it, but will just see me and validate my pain. Every time I speak out loud what I’ve released, it helps me not feel so alone.
S – Symbolize
I love this step because it takes what’s invisible and makes it tangible. I’ve written my burdens on slips of paper and torn them up or placed them in a surrender box, or simply imagined placing them into God’s hands. These symbols remind me that I’ve truly surrendered something beyond my control.
T – Take Action
This is where I find hope again. Once I’ve let go of what I can’t control, I turn my attention to what I can do. Maybe it’s setting a healthy boundary, reaching out for support, practicing soul care or taking a step toward healing. Action grounds me and reminds me that even in the chaos, I am not powerless.
Why I’m Sharing This
I don’t share these things because I have it all figured out—I share them because I know how hard it can be. The R.E.S.T. process helps me over and over again to breathe, to trust, and to find peace in the middle of uncertainty.
If you’d like to hear me open up more vulnerably about my own journey with R.E.S.T., I invite you to listen to this week’s podcast episode:
🎙️ Relational Trauma SOS: S2 E11 – Getting Vulnerable with R.E.S.T.
Together, we can keep practicing, keep healing, and keep finding the courage to release what isn’t ours to carry.
Sending Love From the Trenches,
Jeni